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The Engineering Manager's 1:1 Starter Kit

Most engineers get promoted to management without a single hour of training on how to run a 1:1. You are suddenly responsible for someone's career growth, and your main tool is a recurring calendar invite with no agenda. The result is predictable: meetings that feel pointless, direct reports who disengage, and problems that surface months too late. Structured 1:1s fix this. They are the single highest-leverage activity a new engineering manager can invest in.

This is not about turning every conversation into a rigid process. It is about having a framework so you never walk into a 1:1 thinking "so... how are things?" A good structure gives you a starting point. The actual conversation will (and should) go wherever it needs to go. But without a starting point, most 1:1s default to status updates — and status updates are what standups and project trackers are for.

A 1:1 Agenda Template You Can Use Tomorrow

Here is a concrete agenda that works for a 30-minute 1:1. Adjust the time allocations based on what your direct report needs that week. The key principle: your direct report owns the first half, you own the second half.

Their items (15 min)

  • What is on your mind this week? (open-ended, let them lead)
  • Any blockers or frustrations?
  • Items they added to the shared agenda since last time

Your items (10 min)

  • Follow up on action items from last 1:1
  • Feedback — specific, timely, tied to observable behavior
  • Context from leadership or cross-team decisions that affect them

Growth and wrap-up (5 min)

  • One question about their longer-term goals or development
  • Agree on action items and owners
  • Confirm the next 1:1 is on the calendar

Two rules that make this work: First, never cancel the 1:1. Reschedule if you must, but canceling sends the message that this meeting (and by extension, this person) is not a priority. Second, let your direct report speak first. If you start with your items, you will run out of time for theirs every single time.

10 Questions for Your First 1:1 with a New Direct Report

Your first 1:1 sets the tone for the entire working relationship. Skip the small talk and get into what actually matters. These questions are designed for engineering contexts — adapt them to your situation.

  1. How do you prefer to receive feedback? Some people want it immediately in Slack. Others want it face-to-face. Ask, then actually do it that way.

  2. What does a productive day look like for you? This tells you what they value: deep focus time, collaboration, shipping, learning. It also reveals what is blocking them if their actual days look nothing like their answer.

  3. What was the best engineering team you have worked on, and what made it good? Their answer tells you what culture they thrive in. Listen for whether they emphasize autonomy, mentorship, technical challenge, or team dynamics.

  4. What is the most frustrating part of our development workflow right now? You will learn more about team health from this question than from any retro. New hires especially have fresh eyes on processes the rest of the team has stopped questioning.

  5. How do you feel about code reviews here? Code review culture is a reliable proxy for team trust. If they hesitate or give a diplomatic answer, dig deeper.

  6. Where do you want to be in two years — deeper technical, broader architecture, or moving toward management? Do not assume. Some senior engineers want to stay individual contributors forever. Others are already eyeing a tech lead role. You cannot support their growth if you do not know the direction.

  7. What is something you have wanted to learn or work on but have not had the chance? This is where you find alignment between their interests and team needs. Maybe they want to learn infrastructure and you have been looking for someone to own the CI pipeline.

  8. How much context do you want on the "why" behind decisions? Some engineers want to understand the full business context. Others want a clear spec and the freedom to execute. Neither is wrong, but getting this wrong for someone will frustrate them.

  9. What should I know about how you work that I might not pick up on my own? Maybe they are quiet in meetings but have strong opinions in writing. Maybe they need a day to process before responding to big changes. This question gives them permission to tell you.

  10. Is there anything about how I manage that you have already noticed and want to flag? This one takes courage to ask, especially in a first 1:1. But it establishes from day one that you are open to upward feedback.

You do not need to ask all ten in one sitting. Spread them across your first two or three 1:1s. The goal is to build a picture of how this person works, what they need, and where they want to go.

How to Track Talking Points Between Meetings

The biggest problem with 1:1s is not the meeting itself — it is the six days between meetings where you forget what you wanted to discuss. You see something in a PR review on Tuesday that is worth mentioning, but by Thursday's 1:1 it is gone. Your direct report has a concern on Monday but talks themselves out of raising it by the time the meeting comes around.

You need a shared, persistent place to capture talking points as they come up. Here are three approaches, from simplest to most structured:

A shared Google Doc. Create one doc per direct report. Both of you add items throughout the week. Review it at the start of each 1:1. This works fine for one or two reports but gets messy at five or more. You end up with a dozen docs and no way to track action items across them.

A dedicated Slack channel. Some managers create a private channel per direct report for async 1:1 items. The advantage is low friction — dropping a note in Slack takes two seconds. The disadvantage is that Slack is where context goes to die. Good luck finding a talking point from three weeks ago.

A purpose-built tool. Tools like Gemba are designed specifically for this workflow — capturing talking points throughout the week, organizing them into 1:1 agendas, and tracking action items across meetings. Gemba was built for engineering managers who want structured 1:1s without spending time building and maintaining their own system. If you are managing more than two or three people, a dedicated tool pays for itself in time saved.

Whichever approach you choose, the habit matters more than the tool. Make it easy to add items in the moment, and review the list together at the start of every 1:1.

Common Mistakes New Managers Make with 1:1s

Turning every 1:1 into a status update. If you spend the whole meeting asking what someone shipped this week, you are doing a standup, not a 1:1. Use 1:1 time for things that cannot happen in group settings: career conversations, honest feedback, personal concerns, and trust-building.

Only giving feedback during performance reviews. If a direct report hears feedback for the first time during a formal review, you have failed as a manager. The 1:1 is where feedback lives. Small, frequent, specific observations are more useful than quarterly summaries.

Talking more than your direct report. A good rule of thumb: your direct report should be talking 60-70% of the time. If you are doing most of the talking, you are broadcasting, not listening. Ask a question and then be quiet. Silence is uncomfortable but productive.

Skipping 1:1s when things are "busy." This is exactly backwards. When the team is under pressure is when 1:1s matter most. That is when people are stressed, burning out, or sitting on problems they are afraid to raise in a group. The busier things get, the more you need protected time for honest conversation.

Not following up on action items. If you agree to look into something and then never mention it again, your direct report learns that these meetings do not lead to action. Track your commitments and report back, even if the answer is "I looked into it and we cannot do that right now."

Having the same conversation every week. If your 1:1s feel repetitive, it usually means you are not going deep enough. Push past surface-level check-ins. Ask follow-up questions. Revisit topics from previous weeks. Reference specific things you have noticed in their work.

Treating all direct reports the same way. A senior engineer with ten years of experience needs a completely different 1:1 than a junior developer in their first job. Adjust your frequency, depth, and style based on the individual. Some people need weekly 1:1s; others do better with biweekly. Ask them.

Start Running Better 1:1s This Week

You do not need to be a perfect manager. You need to be a consistent one. Pick a template, stick to a cadence, and track what you discuss. The bar is low — most managers do not do any of this — so even a basic structure puts you ahead.

If you want a tool that handles the structure for you — shared agendas, talking point tracking, action items, and onboarding templates — try Gemba for free. It was built for exactly this workflow.